Sex downsides covers a range of sexual problems, such as difficulties with hard-ons or coming, sexual compulsion or addiction, and lack of sex drive. Some problems have a physical cause; that is, parts of the body aren't working properly. Often the problem is psychological, with its roots in the mind.

The sex we have (or don't have) can be a way of coping with issues or situations; either recent ones or those going back to our childhood and family relationships. Our sexual behaviour can reflect what's going on in our head, often in a way we might not realise until someone else helps us see it. That's one of the benefits of talking to someone, whether it's a professional counsellor or therapist, or just a friend.

Getting help with sex problems

One in five single people have seen a counsellor/therapist: 68% said it helped*.

There are a number of places that you can get counselling or see a therapist.

NHS

You can ask your GP for a referral to a free NHS sex therapist. If you don't want to involve your doctor ask about sex therapists at your genito urinary medicine (GUM, sexual health) clinic or HIV clinic.

Terrence Higgins Trust

Free sex and relationship counselling is available at some Terrence Higgins Trust centres around the country. Call THT Direct Helpline on 0845 12 21 200 for details of what's available locally. If you live in London you can also call 020 7812 1777.

Local projects

Your local gay men's health project will have information on local services.

PACE offers free or low cost counselling for gay and bisexual men in London. Call 020 7700 1323 or see the PACE website

Private

If you want to be seen quicker and can afford it, private therapists (ones you pay to see) are available. Check out the British Association for Sexual & Relationship Therapy or for gay therapists try Pink Therapy.

Want to know more?

To find the answers to common questions people have about talking to a professional, see the website of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.

* Britain Uncovered, 2001