Sex drive problems

If you feel your sex drive's out of control check our info on sex/internet addiction. But if it's a lack of sex drive that's worrying you then read on.

Your sex drive (or libido) affects how often you think about sex or masturbate. Loss of libido isn't the same as erectile dysfunction, which is also known as impotence and means you have problems getting erections. You can lose interest in sex but still get hard.

Sex drive is regulated by the male hormone testosterone. It can also be affected by how you're feeling generally, as well as certain medications and medical conditions. The good news is that treatments can do a lot to bring libido back.

Causes

Physical reasons for a low sex drive include:

• a side-effect of some anti-depressants
• low levels of testosterone - this can happen in men with HIV
• long term medical conditions such as diabetes, thyroid disorders, anaemia, HIV infection and obesity
• some prescription medication including possibly some HIV drugs
• too much alcohol or drugs
• steroid use.

Psychological reasons for a low sex drive include:

• depression
• stress
• sexual abuse or assault in the past
• relationship issues, past or present
• deep-seated inhibitions around sex and sexuality
• being told you have HIV.

After an HIV positive diagnosis

The stress that can come with being told you have HIV often dampens down your libido and it comes back quicker for some men than for others. Feelings of being dirty and undesirable are common, as are having a downer on sex and sexuality, both of which you might blame for you getting infected.

Worrying about getting close, infecting others or telling someone you fancy that you have HIV can all be powerful brakes on desire. Other reasons include the side-effects of HIV medication, low testosterone levels and the tiredness and feeling of being unwell that can go with HIV infection and/or the drugs used to treat it.

But like everyone else, those of us with HIV have a right to good sex and emotional lives. Don't hold back from asking for help and advice from your doctors or from HIV support services: there are counsellors who are experienced in dealing with the issues of those who are HIV positive.

Treating loss of libido

Whether you have HIV or not, these are all options if you want to address your loss of sex drive:

• checking with a doctor about medication you take, any long-term illness you may have or getting your testosterone levels tested
• speaking to a counsellor/therapist about psychological issues that might affect your sex drive
• herbal remedies (Ginseng and Yohimbe might increase libido): check with your doctor or a herbalist first as these can interact with HIV treatments
• exercise: both aerobic and weights have been shown to increase libido.

Viagra and similar drugs will have no effect on your sex drive. They only help with erections if you're already turned on. Find out more about Viagra.