New to fucking?

Your first experiences of being fucked can involve some worry or discomfort. Beginners may take time to get a taste for it. And if it hurts, something's wrong. Try the following - slowly over days or weeks - to get the hang of having your arse played with.

Explore your own arse after a shit and a bath/shower. Lie on your back, legs in the air, and check it out with a hand mirror or squat over one.

Stroke the delicate skin around your arsehole. Touch your perineum first (the sensitive fold of skin stretching from the ball sack to the arse hole). Don't go straight for your arsehole.

Lube your 'ring' both inside and out, and probe with a lubed finger while wanking.

Your sphincter will tighten to stop you entering. Wait until the sphincter relaxes again (30 to 60 seconds). Breathe deeply. As you breathe out gently push your finger in. Try pushing your sphincter out as if having a shit; this usually makes entry easier.

Losing a hard-on if something goes up your arse is normal. But once inside, you can try getting hard again. Your arse hole might tighten as you get an erection.

Next try inserting two fingers.

Once something's up your arse you may feel you're going to shit: relax, you won't. With time you'll learn to ignore that feeling.

With your finger up there press up and down to feel the walls of the anal canal: about 2cms/1 inch before it opens out into the rectum. Move your finger around in a circle.

Wank away! As you come your sphincter will tighten, so best pull out slowly.

Tips

Try these tips for better fucking:

• choose a position that suits you both
• plenty of lube on arse and cock
• keep condoms close by
• try fingering first to prepare the way
• if the arse hole clenches, give it time (30 to 60 seconds) to relax again
• take your time
• breathe deeply
• when a man says 'stop!' it should mean stop - now!
• pulling out slowly is best.

Pain in the butt

One of the main causes of pain when being fucked or taking something up your arse is that the cock or dildo is hitting the wall of the arse. The secret is getting the angle of entry right, so the position you're both taking is the key.

Seven ways to do it

The Clasp

Aka Gay Missionary

How

One of you on their belly, pillow under the hips to raise the arse higher. The other fucks him from on top, maybe with his arm around him.

Bonus

Deeper penetration

The Straddle

Aka The Cowboy

How

He lies on his back. You, facing him, lower yourself slowly onto his erection.

Bonus

Good if new to being fucked as you control how far in his dick goes and the speed and force of the thrusting.

Lift off

How

Your man needs something to sit on. You sit on his hard cock: he holds your arse and moves it up and down

Bonus

Good for kissing and that face-to-face feel

Classic 'Legs Up'

How

You on your back with a pillow underneath your hips, legs open, knees back towards your face. He enters you.

Variation

Rest both legs on his shoulders, if that's comfortable, or rest one leg on his shoulder with the other wrapped round his thigh.

Bonus

Good for being face-to-face and kissing.

Doggie-style

How

You on your hands and knees, he's gripping your hips - or laying over you, his stomach and chest over your back.

Bonus

He can play with your cock or you play with your own by resting your weight on your other arm

Side-saddle

How

You both lie on your sides, your back against his front. Move your leg forward so he can slide into you.

Bonus

He can wank you. You have more control as you can pull away at any time. A good starting position as you can roll into the clasp or doing it doggie-style.

Standing

How

Tricky as the angle the dick goes in makes it more likely to hit the side of the rectum. If you bend over more the angle makes it less likely his cock comes up against your rectal wall, allowing for an easier entry.

Bonus

Sometimes there's no space for any other position!