Can't be fucked?

If being fucked just isn't your thing, then that's not a problem. It's your right to have the sex you want - and say no to sex you don't want. All you need is to find a guy whose sexual likes match yours.

But some of us would like to be fucked but can't. Either it hurts or we're not comfortable having our arse played with. There can be different reasons for this:

• Maybe you or your partner need a few pointers - hopefully you've learnt a few tips here.
• Maybe you need to practise on your own exploring your arse with a finger or something larger.
• Maybe there's a medical reason (such as haemorrhoids).
• Often men feel anxious about someone touching their arse. Perhaps they see it as dirty and can't relax enough to make being fucked comfortable. There are ways to reduce the mess of anal sex: check out the section on Douching and enemas.

Maybe things go deeper than these reasons. Bad sexual experiences in the past (including sexual abuse or assault) can effect your sex life now. If so, you could probably do with help sorting things out. Look for a sex therapist or counsellor with experience in these situations. Find out more on our page on Getting help with sex problems.