Sexual assault
What to do
If someone you know is assaulted
Tips for helping someone who has been assaulted:
- First, listen to him. If you're talking more than him this means you're probably not helping.
- Ask how you can help.
- Avoid telling him what to do. Instead give him choices of what he can do next.
- Find out what support's available and pass this on to him.
- It's important you don't dismiss what he's saying (for example by saying things like 'Are you sure?', 'Don't be stupid...', 'I can't believe it' and so on).
- Don't ask why he let it happen.
- Stress that he's not to blame, even if you might think he put himself at risk or wonder if he could've resisted more.
- Never suggest or joke that he might have enjoyed it.
When someone tells you they've been attacked, they want you to reassure them that they're safe. If you get angry or threaten violence on the attacker it often doesn't help. Talk of more violence can make the situation more distressing.
And it's very important that you respect his confidentiality. Don't mention what's happened to other people unless he agrees.
Help and support
If you've been assaulted recently or as a child, there are organisations experienced in dealing with sexual attacks on men and boys. They can help; whether you want to report it as crime or just talk to someone. They can also answer questions about what would happen if you went to the police, if your attacker was caught and if there was a trial.
Survivors UK
Offers help for men who have been sexually assaulted.
Helpline: 0845 122 1201 (Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, 7pm to 10pm)
Victim Support
Helps people cope with crime.
Helpline: 0845 30 30 900 (weekdays 9am to 9pm; weekends 9am to 7pm; Bank Holidays 9am to 5pm)
The Samaritans
Confidential emotional support 24 hours a day.
Helpline: 08457 90 90 90